How to be a noob.

Hello there! Yes you, Guest, the future noob to be.

Anyone can be a noob. Anyone. These steps will get you from a boy noob to a man noob. Don't worry.

Step 1 - Abandon all wealth:

There is no such thing as a wealthy noob. Noob's social status is lower than the RuneScape average. Wealth should be < 500K. I would say the best amount would be about a 150K bank.

Step 2 - Grinding money making skills so much you look like a bot:

Obviously, botting is bad, we all know this. Noobs, on the other hand, are genetically designed to function in a similar manner, chopping down trees with the worst axes in the game, dying when picking up steel platebodies ect. It will come naturally to you eventually, I promise.

Acceptable:
- Woodcutting Willows for money.
- Firemaking and picking up ashes for money.
- Dancing for Money (not recommended, will probably get you banned).

Not Acceptable:
- Bossing.
- PvM.
- PvP.
- Dating Grills.

Step 3 - Remove all signs of wealth:

Remove all skillcapes/fire cape/pets/other untradeables that make you look better than you actually are.

Step 4 - Change your in-game name:

Noob names have numbers in them.

Acceptable Noob Names:
- Runtellthat4
- x23Slayer23x
- hoifuiheah027t8

Not Acceptable Noob Names:
- Jim.
- Sally.
- George.

Step 5 - Walk everywhere with minimal held items:

Walking everywhere rather than teleporting or running is a good sign of a fellow noob, especially if they are woodcutting with only an axe being wielded. I know this seems like bot behaviour, but noobs are much different, noobs have rights, bots don't.

Another difference is that you are legally allowed to change your status to being a `noob`, which you must do if you wish to be a successful noob in life. Bots, however, are not allowed to exist, otherwise we would have those `I am not a robot` captions, would we?

Top Tips:

- Always try to play whenever you feel like it, without giving the impression that you are no-lifing the game, or you will lose your noob status.
- Always play by the Jagex Rules, the last thing we want is any banned accounts.
- Noobs do not gamble at places such as the Duel Arena.

If you have any more queries on how to be a successful noob, you can contact one of our noob administrators on this site or online. These include: runtellthat4, 3lven and many others. Just ask around if you are not sure, us noobs stick together.

Good luck on your journey to mannoobhood. #OnceanoobAlwaysanoob .

This article was sponsored by the General Store.

Thank you for this guide! Do you have any other examples for names for a noob to use?

150k man mode...coming soon.

Really playing this game with a bank worth 150k itself is a challenge. You should probably change that to cash-pile. Otherwise it becomes something of a challenge. And well do noobs take on hard challenges?

Hoid is dat u?

I laughed so hard when you put Runtellthat4 in the noob name list xDDDDDDD

Ah the good ole days. Dying to chaos druids...

Finally something I can relate to!

I have learnt so much valuable information from this post.

You guys might know this one already, but I found out today that you can do a quest called animal magnetism, and get something called "Ava's accumulator". If you just wear it all the time while running around it will pick up steel arrows for you for free which you can sell for profit!

I have accepted my new lifestyle. All of my worldly possessions have been given away to the friendly(?) people of the Al-Kharid duel arena, I hope they use them well.

Did you edit this to put my name in it?

I didn't start playing OSRS until April.

And jokes on you, I'm already a noob.

Thanks for the guide

My favourite part is that you assume all noobs will be males, which is pretty much the conclusion I reached a while ago, apart from a very few...........girl power

@ladybird2

I made this "assumption" for one very valid reason.

Females don't play rs.

An easy way to be noob apparently, is to be named "Fires". :c

I nominate Jake!

Only the noobiest nominate others as noobs.............this is a prize designed for self nominators imo..........where is the humility !

I just now read this lol...noob