How to be a noob.

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How to be a noob.

Post by Ninjaskillzc on Wed Mar 22, 2017 6:27 pm

Anyone can be a noob. Anyone. These steps will get you from a boy noob to a man noob. Don't worry.

Step 1 - Abandon all wealth:

There is no such thing as a wealthy noob. Noob's social status is lower than the RuneScape average. Wealth should be < 500K. I would say the best amount would be about a 150K bank.

Step 2 - Grinding money making skills so much you look like a bot:

Obviously, botting is bad, we all know this. Noobs, on the other hand, are genetically designed to function in a similar manner, chopping down trees with the worst axes in the game, dying when picking up steel platebodies ect. It will come naturally to you eventually, I promise.

Acceptable:
- Woodcutting Willows for money.
- Firemaking and picking up ashes for money.
- Dancing for Money (not recommended, will probably get you banned).

Not Acceptable:
- Bossing.
- PvM.
- PvP.
- Dating Grills.

Step 3 - Remove all signs of wealth:

Remove all skillcapes/fire cape/pets/other untradeables that make you look better than you actually are.

Step 4 - Change your in-game name:

Noob names have numbers in them.

Acceptable Noob Names:
- Runtellthat4
- x23Slayer23x
- hoifuiheah027t8

Not Acceptable Noob Names:
- Jim.
- Sally.
- George.

Step 5 - Walk everywhere with minimal held items:

Walking everywhere rather than teleporting or running is a good sign of a fellow noob, especially if they are woodcutting with only an axe being wielded. I know this seems like bot behaviour, but noobs are much different, noobs have rights, bots don't.

Another difference is that you are legally allowed to change your status to being a `noob`, which you must do if you wish to be a successful noob in life. Bots, however, are not allowed to exist, otherwise we would have those `I am not a robot` captions, would we?

Top Tips:

- Always try to play whenever you feel like it, without giving the impression that you are no-lifing the game, or you will lose your noob status.
- Always play by the Jagex Rules, the last thing we want is any banned accounts.
- Noobs do not gamble at places such as the Duel Arena.

If you have any more queries on how to be a successful noob, you can contact one of our noob administrators on this site or online. These include: runtellthat4, 3lven and many others. Just ask around if you are not sure, us noobs stick together.

Good luck on your journey to mannoobhood. #OnceanoobAlwaysanoob .

This article was sponsored by the General Store.

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Re: How to be a noob.

Post by eoinc on Wed Mar 22, 2017 6:43 pm

Thank you for this guide! Do you have any other examples for names for a noob to use?
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Re: How to be a noob.

Post by Autocrat on Thu Mar 23, 2017 5:12 pm

150k man mode...coming soon.

Really playing this game with a bank worth 150k itself is a challenge. You should probably change that to cash-pile. Otherwise it becomes something of a challenge. And well do noobs take on hard challenges?
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Re: How to be a noob.

Post by 11 Eleven on Thu Mar 23, 2017 9:16 pm

Hoid is dat u?
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Re: How to be a noob.

Post by Purpleninjja on Mon Apr 10, 2017 11:38 am

I laughed so hard when you put Runtellthat4 in the noob name list xDDDDDDD
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Re: How to be a noob.

Post by Dj on Sun Apr 16, 2017 4:16 pm

Ah the good ole days. Dying to chaos druids...
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Re: How to be a noob.

Post by SilentPoet on Wed Apr 19, 2017 10:21 pm

Finally something I can relate to!
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Re: How to be a noob.

Post by 989 on Wed Apr 19, 2017 11:44 pm

I have learnt so much valuable information from this post.
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