How to be a noob.

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How to be a noob.

Post by Ninjaskillzc on Wed Mar 22, 2017 6:27 pm

Hello there! Yes you, Guest, the future noob to be.

Anyone can be a noob. Anyone. These steps will get you from a boy noob to a man noob. Don't worry.

Step 1 - Abandon all wealth:

There is no such thing as a wealthy noob. Noob's social status is lower than the RuneScape average. Wealth should be < 500K. I would say the best amount would be about a 150K bank.

Step 2 - Grinding money making skills so much you look like a bot:

Obviously, botting is bad, we all know this. Noobs, on the other hand, are genetically designed to function in a similar manner, chopping down trees with the worst axes in the game, dying when picking up steel platebodies ect. It will come naturally to you eventually, I promise.

Acceptable:
- Woodcutting Willows for money.
- Firemaking and picking up ashes for money.
- Dancing for Money (not recommended, will probably get you banned).

Not Acceptable:
- Bossing.
- PvM.
- PvP.
- Dating Grills.

Step 3 - Remove all signs of wealth:

Remove all skillcapes/fire cape/pets/other untradeables that make you look better than you actually are.

Step 4 - Change your in-game name:

Noob names have numbers in them.

Acceptable Noob Names:
- Runtellthat4
- x23Slayer23x
- hoifuiheah027t8

Not Acceptable Noob Names:
- Jim.
- Sally.
- George.

Step 5 - Walk everywhere with minimal held items:

Walking everywhere rather than teleporting or running is a good sign of a fellow noob, especially if they are woodcutting with only an axe being wielded. I know this seems like bot behaviour, but noobs are much different, noobs have rights, bots don't.

Another difference is that you are legally allowed to change your status to being a `noob`, which you must do if you wish to be a successful noob in life. Bots, however, are not allowed to exist, otherwise we would have those `I am not a robot` captions, would we?

Top Tips:

- Always try to play whenever you feel like it, without giving the impression that you are no-lifing the game, or you will lose your noob status.
- Always play by the Jagex Rules, the last thing we want is any banned accounts.
- Noobs do not gamble at places such as the Duel Arena.

If you have any more queries on how to be a successful noob, you can contact one of our noob administrators on this site or online. These include: runtellthat4, 3lven and many others. Just ask around if you are not sure, us noobs stick together.

Good luck on your journey to mannoobhood. #OnceanoobAlwaysanoob .

This article was sponsored by the General Store.


Last edited by Ninjaskillzc on Mon Sep 18, 2017 7:54 am; edited 1 time in total
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Re: How to be a noob.

Post by eoinc on Wed Mar 22, 2017 6:43 pm

Thank you for this guide! Do you have any other examples for names for a noob to use?
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Re: How to be a noob.

Post by Autocrat on Thu Mar 23, 2017 5:12 pm

150k man mode...coming soon.

Really playing this game with a bank worth 150k itself is a challenge. You should probably change that to cash-pile. Otherwise it becomes something of a challenge. And well do noobs take on hard challenges?
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Re: How to be a noob.

Post by 11 Eleven on Thu Mar 23, 2017 9:16 pm

Hoid is dat u?
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Re: How to be a noob.

Post by Purpleninjja on Mon Apr 10, 2017 11:38 am

I laughed so hard when you put Runtellthat4 in the noob name list xDDDDDDD
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Re: How to be a noob.

Post by Dj on Sun Apr 16, 2017 4:16 pm

Ah the good ole days. Dying to chaos druids...
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Re: How to be a noob.

Post by SilentPoet on Wed Apr 19, 2017 10:21 pm

Finally something I can relate to!
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Re: How to be a noob.

Post by 989 on Wed Apr 19, 2017 11:44 pm

I have learnt so much valuable information from this post.
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Re: How to be a noob.

Post by Muldeh on Sun Oct 01, 2017 12:53 am

You guys might know this one already, but I found out today that you can do a quest called animal magnetism, and get something called "Ava's accumulator". If you just wear it all the time while running around it will pick up steel arrows for you for free which you can sell for profit!
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Re: How to be a noob.

Post by Breya on Mon Oct 02, 2017 10:30 pm

I have accepted my new lifestyle. All of my worldly possessions have been given away to the friendly(?) people of the Al-Kharid duel arena, I hope they use them well.
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Re: How to be a noob.

Post by Lokandur on Tue Oct 03, 2017 6:32 am

Did you edit this to put my name in it?

I didn't start playing OSRS until April.

And jokes on you, I'm already a noob.
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Re: How to be a noob.

Post by RollsReus on Sun Oct 29, 2017 2:29 pm

Thanks for the guide Razz
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Re: How to be a noob.

Post by ladybird2 on Tue Oct 31, 2017 9:45 am

My favourite part is that you assume all noobs will be males, which is pretty much the conclusion I reached a while ago, apart from a very few...........girl power Rolling Eyes

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Re: How to be a noob.

Post by Ninjaskillzc on Tue Oct 31, 2017 3:45 pm

@ladybird2

I made this "assumption" for one very valid reason.

Females don't play rs.
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Re: How to be a noob.

Post by Fires on Sat Nov 04, 2017 5:36 pm

An easy way to be noob apparently, is to be named "Fires". :c
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Noob Discussion

Post by Doxy on Sun Nov 05, 2017 10:27 am

I nominate Jake!
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Re: How to be a noob.

Post by ladybird2 on Mon Nov 06, 2017 6:49 am

Only the noobiest nominate others as noobs.............this is a prize designed for self nominators imo..........where is the humility !

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Ninja is the real noob

Post by Psychic Sage on Wed Dec 06, 2017 7:50 pm

I just now read this lol...noob


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Re: How to be a noob.

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