2019 has been the worst year, don’t you agree?

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Post by GodBaws on Mon Dec 23, 2019 12:41 am

2019 is honestly my worst year ever, anyone else had the shittiest year this year aswell?

Some of you know me, been talking to a few and been in the cc for a few months.
I have the most overall total EXP in the clan by sittning at just 689M, I like this community alot and have told many people around the game about it.
Anyways I’ll tell you all about my shitty year and maybe you some of you feel like talking out about shitty things that happened this year. Might feel better and I will always be up for a chat.

Back in January my GF had to go away for about 10 months, we were only able to talk through letters. The past 10 months have been hell.
We made it through 8 out of 10 months until she broke up with me.

A month ago I got kicked out of parents place.
Stupid reason why it happened but not gonna go in on it.
About a week ago I got kidnapped and assaulted due to my childhood bestfriend and closest one. Not gonna go in on that either, anyhow not deserved at all.
I now after a month have a place to live at where no one will find me, I can’t go to the police about it as it would get so much worse for me or someone I stand close.

Today is my birthday, but also my grandmothers birthday, today she died, on our birthday, day before christmas.. we stood eachother very close.

I have for the past few days been playing OSRS on my phone, due to me having to selI my PC so I could afford a place to live at for a few months.
I am 2277 Total and almost 690M Total EXP. The day after the assault I was sure I was going to give up, I decided to get rid of my gold on OSRS so I decided to do a random drop party at G.E for around 300m GP.
For about 4-5 days now I have been better, I have been doing slayer and some clues to rebuild back to around 20-25M.
I can only play on mobile at the moment due to me having to give our shared gaming PC to my Ex.


I’m not looking for pity, I am though looking for friends and people to talk to over christmas as I will not be celebrating christmas this year as I was not invited or could come celebrate with my parents. The ones I live with. Are both working on christmas and I do not have any other friends to celebrate with.
I will most likely try to talk to people on discord while doing slayer on phone

This year I’ve been through alot. I know I’m a strong person and everything that I have been through has actually made me stronger. It will help me grow and become a better person myself and to help others and inspire others.
The day after the assault I was ready to give up and leave everything.
Today I lost my closest family member. But today is also the day I realised It will get better. It won’t in a day, in a week, in a month. But at some point it will turn. Your life can turn around in a second, just need to take chances.

Anyways. I don’t mind opening up and talking about everything as I have nothing to be ashamed of and I hope to make honest and great friends in this clan, I will be alot more active now, will try to type more in Clan chat but very hard to when on phone but I’ll give it my best.

Don’t be afraid to add me, throw me a PM or hit me up on discord God Baws#8339
I’d like to meet new friends on here over christmas and maybe have a little gift tradings on christmas eve with some of you, just small in-game present for people to trade with each other. And don’t think about the value, think of it as kind,smart and overthought gifts (Do not spend much money, supposed to be meaningful/funny gifts)

2019 has been the worst year, don’t you agree? 90dc9c10


Happy to meet you
/God Baws
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Post by GodBaws on Mon Dec 23, 2019 12:47 am

I’m sorry I missed alot of things and If I ever talk to some of you, you will be guaranteed a good friend.
Just know that no one is alone or should be alone.
Some people suffer less, some suffer more.
If you have mental health issues you should always seek help,
If you don’t know where or how or what to look for you’ll never find it,
But if you know what you’re looking for, you most likely will find Yourself.

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Post by Bing on Mon Dec 23, 2019 1:26 am

Nice words Baws, glad you felt comfortable enough with all of us to share this here - I wish you the best and hope things continue looking up. Look forward to seeing you ingame or in the discord, and of course my pm is always open. 2019 has been the worst year, don’t you agree? Bandit

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Post by DabbingBrb on Mon Dec 23, 2019 2:44 am

Hey God, I've seen you around a bunch but I don't think we've ever had a real conversation together. I also had no idea you had so much experience, that's insane! Reading your post your year has been absolutely packed with shit from beginning to end and I'm so sorry to hear about all of it. My computer is my baby and I honestly would feel pretty lost and hopeless without it, as bad as that sounds.

Not to compare my year to yours in any sense, but my year was probably my worst year so far too. I had been living with my girlfriend for about 2 years until we grew apart and she decided she wanted other things. I was then basically forced to move back in with my parents which were a few hours away from where I was living so I had to find a new job. I got over her fairly quickly, but I absolutely could not get over the pets I left behind. People that have seen me in the discord or around the website may have seen pictures of my two lovely corgis and two sweet kitties, but I no longer own them and haven't seen them in about a year. Oliver (adult male dog) made my day every morning and every night, and its been rough without him.

A few months after I moved back in, my stomach exploded- to put it gently. I spent a few weeks in the hospital and they ran countless tests to see what the hell happened but they couldn't find anything. That may sound like positive news, but I was really hoping they could diagnose something so that I could get it fixed. So they did as all great doctors do (no offense bing) and prescribed me a ton of pills to take. Although they help slightly I still have awful stomach pain most of the time, which gets amplified horribly if I eat the wrong stuff. I am 6' tall and at the start of this whole debacle I weighed 150 lbs, but I'm down to 115 now because there's barely anything I can eat. I gave up all drugs and alcohol from this point and am now 3 months sober, the longest I've been sober since I started doing those things.

Car rides and the like all make my stomach hurt worse so I haven't been able to go out with my friends or work like I used to. Since I'm stuck at home all of the time, I decided to pick up runescape again which I hadn't played in about a year. That was in I think June, and honestly I can't tell you enough how much being in this clan has helped me out. I went from being insanely lonely to having people I could see every day and ask about what's going on. There's so many sweet people in the clan that you wouldn't know unless you talked to them personally and it fills my heart. I have a few people who know all of the above and they check in on me regularly; i.e. Syllabic. It honestly helps so much.

Thanksgiving I wasn't able to stomach the ride to my uncles house across the state and they were all pretty upset/sad that I couldn't make it. My Grandma who lives in a retirement home rented a room for a few hours for the family to meet on Christmas so I can actually go and see everybody. I'm really looking forward to that because I love them all very much. I don't know if I'm ever going to recover or get better and it's not looking good, as this has been going on for over 6 months now. Just taking it day by day, and that's all we can do really.

I hope I didn't derail your thread that much, it just feels good to get this stuff off my chest in a public forum. People probably wonder how I'm almost always online well there's your answer :p When I get home from Christmas with the family I'd love to spend time hanging out with you God Baws, we can joke around on discord or just do silly things in game. I would love that. I really hope things start looking up for you bud and just know MANY of us are here for you if you need it. And not just the generic saying either, we really are.
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Post by Pidalu on Mon Dec 23, 2019 2:55 am

Merry Christmas, Baws.

Rest be assured, when you are in this clan, you always have people here for you, willing to talk to you and be a friend.

Lots of love,
Jack x
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Post by Bodjery on Tue Dec 24, 2019 2:47 am

Not feeling too much of cellebrating either...
Guys, your stories touched me, and I am deeply sorry about what this year brought to you both.
I don't like Christmas, at all... having all my kids living in different countries, my folks dead and my brothers and sisters never seing each other always makes me feel that Christmas is just one more day during the year.
My joy at this age is seing my little grandchild.

But my health hasn't been good for the last 20 years, so... for me ,as Dab said, is one day at a time. I struggle with pain every single day of the year. Some days are worst some are better, My whole back spine has arthrosis (don't know how to spell it really) and 5 haernias that doctors won't operate as they say I need a lot of nails in the spine and that could simply cause my death... So, for the time being is just keeping on as I can with meds all the time that ended causing controversial effects over the year. One of them with my stomach as well.
Dab I am worried that you are ill... Whenever you can let me know what's going on.... After more than 30 years dealing with doctors, believe me I should have studied medicine! I have been learning so much...

Today is 24, and I will be during the last part of the night present in the clan, and discord to keep company with you guys...
Life is hard, but yet, we can all say , WE are here, we are alive.

wishing you all the best.
Bod.
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Post by SwekSpek on Tue Dec 24, 2019 2:57 am

Hello guys,

Your stories are though to read, I hope you all get support from somewhere. If you ever feel the need to vent/talk, feel free to pm me in game/offsite/discord!

Best of wishes for 2020, that it may be a way better year for you guys!

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Post by GodBaws on Tue Dec 24, 2019 10:54 am

@Bing wrote:Nice words Baws, glad you felt comfortable enough with all of us to share this here - I wish you the best and hope things continue looking up. Look forward to seeing you ingame or in the discord, and of course my pm is always open. 2019 has been the worst year, don’t you agree? Bandit

Thanks Bing, I do. I feel like this clan chat and most of the people is very kind and friendly and someone is always there to help if needed.
I have been having some conspiracys about how to make yourself more positive even though you have one of the worst times in your life.
Let's say you have about 1 good month, then a bad month, then a good month, and so on, so when you have a bad month, you're often negative, things just keep happening and you get stressed out, no energy and so on.
At those bad months, if you keep trying to be more positive and push yourself to really believe that I will get better, that when it happens, it gets better everytime you get a better new month, but you can also dip harder and fall down to your negativity again but the more you keep pushing yourself during those bad months to be more positive, it's gonna get easier.
The question is, can you handle the bad months, where it might get worse? Yes, and if you just keep thinking about yourself, about positive things, and do things that not only makes you feel better for the moment (Like drugs, etc.) you do things that can still make you happy next month when it's a good month, because then you'll be alot happier yourself, and it will spread more positive energy around you.

Look forward speaking with you aswell Bing, keep it up man.
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Post by GodBaws on Tue Dec 24, 2019 11:11 am

@DabbingBrb wrote:Hey God, I've seen you around a bunch but I don't think we've ever had a real conversation together. I also had no idea you had so much experience, that's insane! Reading your post your year has been absolutely packed with shit from beginning to end and I'm so sorry to hear about all of it. My computer is my baby and I honestly would feel pretty lost and hopeless without it, as bad as that sounds.

Not to compare my year to yours in any sense, but my year was probably my worst year so far too. I had been living with my girlfriend for about 2 years until we grew apart and she decided she wanted other things. I was then basically forced to move back in with my parents which were a few hours away from where I was living so I had to find a new job. I got over her fairly quickly, but I absolutely could not get over the pets I left behind. People that have seen me in the discord or around the website may have seen pictures of my two lovely corgis and two sweet kitties, but I no longer own them and haven't seen them in about a year. Oliver (adult male dog) made my day every morning and every night, and its been rough without him.

A few months after I moved back in, my stomach exploded- to put it gently. I spent a few weeks in the hospital and they ran countless tests to see what the hell happened but they couldn't find anything. That may sound like positive news, but I was really hoping they could diagnose something so that I could get it fixed. So they did as all great doctors do (no offense bing) and prescribed me a ton of pills to take. Although they help slightly I still have awful stomach pain most of the time, which gets amplified horribly if I eat the wrong stuff. I am 6' tall and at the start of this whole debacle I weighed 150 lbs, but I'm down to 115 now because there's barely anything I can eat. I gave up all drugs and alcohol from this point and am now 3 months sober, the longest I've been sober since I started doing those things.

Car rides and the like all make my stomach hurt worse so I haven't been able to go out with my friends or work like I used to. Since I'm stuck at home all of the time, I decided to pick up runescape again which I hadn't played in about a year. That was in I think June, and honestly I can't tell you enough how much being in this clan has helped me out. I went from being insanely lonely to having people I could see every day and ask about what's going on. There's so many sweet people in the clan that you wouldn't know unless you talked to them personally and it fills my heart. I have a few people who know all of the above and they check in on me regularly; i.e. Syllabic. It honestly helps so much.

Thanksgiving I wasn't able to stomach the ride to my uncles house across the state and they were all pretty upset/sad that I couldn't make it. My Grandma who lives in a retirement home rented a room for a few hours for the family to meet on Christmas so I can actually go and see everybody. I'm really looking forward to that because I love them all very much. I don't know if I'm ever going to recover or get better and it's not looking good, as this has been going on for over 6 months now. Just taking it day by day, and that's all we can do really.

I hope I didn't derail your thread that much, it just feels good to get this stuff off my chest in a public forum. People probably wonder how I'm almost always online well there's your answer :p When I get home from Christmas with the family I'd love to spend time hanging out with you God Baws, we can joke around on discord or just do silly things in game. I would love that. I really hope things start looking up for you bud and just know MANY of us are here for you if you need it. And not just the generic saying either, we really are.

Hey Dab, I don't think we did but I look forward to!
It has man, my year has really been dreadful but I mean, what could go worse now?
I really think that 2020 is going to be my year but if it isn't, I'll just hope that 2021 is.
I've been getting more and more positive lately and everything gets easier to talk about, I feel better
talking about it than just sitting there, trying to figure out all myself, it's not worth doing that, I've been there.
For once I actually feel like I could get somewhere, maybe not today, not in a week, or a month. but some day, I guarantee.
I get how you feel with your computer, I feel the same way. Not having one right now is killing me and I can't really afford one.
I was going to buy a laptop now at christmas but honestly, I couldn't really afford it and
didn't get any christmas gifts or presents at all so, anyhow, being without a PC sucks, I really want to play and do more stuff
that i barely can do on mobile..


Everyone has their problems and no one should compare their problems and life with each other, I get you.
Really sounds like you have had the worst year aswell. Letting go of someone you love and move back home to parents
and your dogs is never easy.
I'm glad you vented a little bit with me and I look forward talking to you more in-game and on discord.
I really wish you the best of everything and keep grinding OSRS because I probably will aswell
It has really been helping me and as you said people in clan are very helpful aswell and being there doesn't
make you feel so alone either. I've been talking to syllabic aswell, very smart and kind guy!

Noo man, that wasn't too much to read, I agree, it felt good to get it off my chest aswell, and to talk about it
with people I actually enjoy talking to, hit me up when you come home from christmas celebrating I'll be online!
I really hope so too, and it will. I have really good things planned out for me when my life gets back on track
just gotta stay positive.
Thank you and you can always throw me a PM if you'd like to talk about something, see you around!
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Post by GodBaws on Tue Dec 24, 2019 11:12 am

@Pidalu wrote:Merry Christmas, Baws.

Rest be assured, when you are in this clan, you always have people here for you, willing to talk to you and be a friend.

Lots of love,
Jack x

Hey Jack! I have noticed, I really appreciate that and I know alot of other people do. I really like this community, keep it up!
Look forward seeing you and talking to you Jack, stay warm and merry christmas x
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Post by ladybird2 on Wed Dec 25, 2019 6:14 am

Firstly thank you for sharing, and for the reminder that this holiday time can be a cause of great pressure and sadness for many and is not an all singing all dancing occasion for everyone that the media portrays.
I am very sorry to learn of the loss of your beloved grandmother, you wont need the bond of your shared birthday to remember her every day and realise that the values and caring you learnt and appreciated from her will last you a lifetime. You come across as a really nice human being, be proud of that and continue to strive stay positive. Some relationships don't stand the test of time and whilst immensely regretful, hurtful and sad, you do start to realise that they pave the way for new ones with people who like us more, do want to be with us and have as much to lose as we do if it doesn't work out.
Many of us seem to play this game for reasons that go well beyond being pixels and achievements. The need for friendship and approval by our fellow man albeit from what starts out as a bunch of strangers is what binds a clan like ours. Even if I am not the one responding I could hug each and everyone of you when you talk kindly to someone needing support and form bonds regardless of time zones, cultures, age gaps or the fact that we may never have met under any other circumstances.
In response to Dab I do hope your health issues subside and that you start to feel like you are thriving again, I totally get how frustrating it must be not to be able to put a name to what is wrong, and then get on and tackle it.(big pat on the back for being sober too) I have no training so what I am about to say may be totally irrelevant but a family member did have similar sounding issues and was 'gluten free' for 2 years and then able to reintroduce it gradually, its very tough when things you would normally look forward to and enjoy suddenly become your enemy. I feel very sad that you miss Oliver so much, and am not in the least surprised, they are life enhancing, non judgemental, always loving and pleased to see us...….it is so special. And you are special, you have channelled such a lot into the clan and thank you for making a difference.
Bod, I am really sorry about your ongoing health problems and I know that you give a lot of love and support to others. You are probably the warmest person I have encountered, a truly lovely human being, where ever they are in the world your family will have no doubt what love is because you are such a fine example, so have fun with that little one and continue to spread the love.
I have been feeling melancholy too, reminded of lost loved ones and times past, but I am also reminded that I have a good life and am blessed in a thousand ways that money cant buy. If I could wave a wand it would be good health for everyone and some peace of mind and contentment thrown in.
As the door opens on 2020 lets hope things move forward with optimism, I look forward to hearing that things are going well, and my pm is always open, I wish there was more I could do to help. xxxxx big hugs all round.
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Post by Nerdual on Thu Dec 26, 2019 2:58 am

I really appreciate you sharing your story here Baws that takes alot of courage. If you ever just wanna hang or chat 1on1 hit me up please. I know how sometimes shitty things can just pile on one another and you seem to have to worst luck right now...

If I can help in any way, please ask <3
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